The subject is probably a little taboo…but has anyone ever known me to have a filter? Not so much…so we are going to talk about it today!
Out of all the advice from other mothers when I brought my two precious littles into the world, not one single mom, NOT ONE, bothered to mention that after children (even years after) sometimes you might pee a little.
You read that right…pee a little.
I mean come on! That’s kind of an important subject that could have come up during the influx of motherly advice I received…but it didn’t!
They could have said….
Forget to cross your legs when you sneeze, you might pee a little….
Uncontrollable laughter, you might pee a little….
Not getting to the bathroom within five seconds of your brain telling you that you need to go, you might pee a little…
I could go on and on, but I think you get my drift! You might pee a little… an important post littles life lesson that I had to learn on my own.
Last Saturday, I went with my girlfriends to an indoor sky diving facility. A simulation that allows you to feel what it’s like to sky dive, without committing to jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. I was totally excited for the day, but completely terrified to go through with it. It was one of those events that wasn’t on my bucket list, but I added it that morning, just so I could mark it off (anyone out there do this?). Any whooooo….as I was packing up my purse that morning it dawned on me that it would probably be in my best interest to go fetch a snack size Ziploc bag and toss in an extra pair of undies.
I didn’t want my girlfriends walking around the rest of the day with a little sog in their pants, so I text them….”Don’t forget to throw an extra pair of under ware in your purse!” They laughed at me…I don’t really blame them, because it was pretty random…but that’s how I roll. As I threw the Ziploc bag into my purse…I thought… whatever ladies, you just might be up pee creek without a clean pair of undies, you were warned and I’m not sharing mine!
We arrived at the facility, I was scared, but not terrified yet. We watched for about an hour as others went through the simulation…my anxiety started growing at a rapid rate. I think I went to the bathroom three times prior to flying, the last thing I wanted to do was tinkle in a flight suit that they were clearly not washing prior to handing out to the next unfortunate soul in line!
We were up, the terror had set in. I had several conversations with myself while sitting in the tunnel awaiting what I thought would be a reunion with my maker. My turn. I flew. It was amazing! I loved it! What was even more amazing? I didn’t pee…not even a little! Heck, I could barely remember to breath in there and every time I would smile, spit would cover my goggles. Ha! It was an experience that I think everyone should have!
We exited the building after picking up our not so flattering videos of our flights, and went on our way.
Our next stop, Las Margaritas, where we enjoyed a wonderful Mexican dinner and a tasty margarita. Drank a little, but didn’t pee.
We then headed to Tipple Hill, and did a little wine tasting while enjoying the voice of a woman doing a little throwback country music…. laughed a lot, but didn’t pee.
Our last stop was at the casino, I’m not much of a gambler, I lost $20.00 in the first fifteen minutes and then resorted to the hallway with a friend enjoying some cheese sticks and a Twix bar while people watching.
It was a momentous day and evening, a nice Mommy break…and no pee pants!
Fast forward to Monday morning, as I am packing my bag to head out to work, I remembered that the undies were still in my purse. I was thanking God, that for once my memory served me and I didn’t end up mid-day retrieving something from my bag and launching a pair of less than attractive undies across the room at the office!
As I am digging through the bag, pure and utter panic set it. I removed every item in there, one by one…NO UNDIES TO BE FOUND! What the ***?!?!
No undies! I was still in panic mode, but then I sat down and laughed at myself. Then laughed a little more! Only me!!
I texted my girlfriends with a little Monday morning smile…the undies are gone, they are either in the locker at IFly, under the table at Las Margaritas, laying on the floor at Tipple Hill, or perhaps someone at the casino picked them up and thought, “what the hell”?!?!
The world will never know….
I am just so thankful that women’s under ware don’t come with a “This Belongs To Tag” like the littles coats do!
Life happens, it’s best that we chose to laugh at ourselves!
So I leave you today with my ultimate words of wisdom for the week, “FLY HIGH, STAY DRY”!
Happy Saturday ya’ll!